What I am about to write about will most likely offend or turn off those in my family and maybe even some of you who know me best. I will not make any apologies for this. Please do not post any rude comments about this post, I am not looking for a debate or to judge others. I am however stating what we believe and my reasons for it. I know everyone has their own beliefs and that is fine. It doesn't make me feel any different about those I care about. This post is about letting people know exactly where I stand. Please understand that I love all of you very much and it is not my intention to cause distance.
In the past year or so I have felt major changed happening not only within myself but within my family. By family I mean I and Mikes and my extended family.
I first noticed this change when I began to have feelings that homeschooling was the best choice for our kids. It started out as a nagging feeling, something I couldn't shake. I began to feel convicted that something needed to change. Then I started to have the same feelings about not having a church home. We had been unable to find one in Tulsa. The house we are in now in Oologah came across my path through a friend. I spoke to the couple who owns the house and initially it seemed like we could easily afford the rent as it wasn't much higher than what were paying at the old house. I began to pray for this house, for the opportunity to move into it. I saw things start to be put into motion. Then we were told the rent would be a lot more than we were used to paying. But again I saw things work out. We were able to cancel some things we weren't using and rearrange some money so that we could afford the rent. Around this time my mother in law was going through a rough time and needed a place to stay. We offered her a room in our home. It was a small house but I kept praying the house in Oologah would come through. It did and she is able to have her own room and bathroom with space.
Moving out to Oologah took some faith. Its about 45 minutes from Mikes work but thankfully a few months before we moved out here he was able to buy a small truck that gets decent gas mileage. We don't know anyone out here, yet moving here has been a huge blessing. The people here are so generous. We found a church home, its small but I can already see God moving there since we arrived and I think its the perfect place for us. I have found several other families who homeschool and have made some friends. With Claremore, Collinsville and Owasso close by theres lots to do. I believe that we were unable to find a church home in Tulsa because this is where we are supposed to be. I love the house. It needs a little work but we have time and so many ideas that once we're able to start implementing them it will be wonderful. The yard is amazing and the kids love to go out in the back and play, its nice to be able to send them out there without having to worry too much. I still worry but more about bugs and snakes than people coming by and harming them. We live on a very quiet street close to main street. I can easily see myself living here forever.
Which brings me to why I am writing this. We have lived here 3 1/2 months. In that time I have seen God (and unfortunately Satan) working on us. I have been convicted of things that need to change in my own life and I'm praying that Mike will see things too. It is a huge blessing to have my mother in law living here with us. She is a source of inspiration to me and a guide through my journey in Christ.
I am coming to deep Christianity late in life. Although I remember going to church as a child I don't remember any permanent place. The main reason being that my dad was in the Navy and we moved often. I am trying very hard to teach my children about God and Jesus. To pray, read their bibles and attend church. For some I know this may seem silly or crazy, but it is what we believe. We believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We pray at meals, even out in public. We have bible study before school starts and attend church. Because of all of this I do not want my children taught about other religions unless I am the one doing the teaching. I think it is important to know about other beliefs and religions but to not lose sight of your own. I do not want them to believe that you only have to do good works to get to Heaven. We believe you have to be saved and born again and turn away from your old life and become a new person in Christ. To be like Christ as much as possible. This does not mean perfect. I am not perfect and I still have daily struggles.
Right now I am involved in a ladies bible study at our church that I helped start with my mother in law. It is called "Jesus the One and Only", it is by Beth Moore. So far I am really liking it. Its nice to be able to spend one night a week with other women, getting to know each other and learning more about God.
Sometimes I like to listen to the podcasts from the pastor of First Baptist Tulsa, Darren Spoo. He is a wonderful pastor and I really enjoy the podcasts. If you get a chance check him out. I started at the very first podcast and have been working my way up. One of the first podcasts I listened to was one where he as talking about Christians and he said "are you a disciple or a dabbler?" Ouch, it was like a slap to the face. I have been a dabbler for far too long. I started really going to church when we moved to Oklahoma in 1993. It was the first church I consistently went to and got involved in. I had an awesome youth group and met many of my good friends there including my husband. But around 19-20 I was involved with a guy that wasn't too keen on going to church, so I quit going. Then we got married and although I went off and on it was never consistent. I didn't teach Jordan from a young age about God and now I'm having to make up for it. It wasn't until Henry and I split up that I started to think about my own salvation. Then Mike and I married and things changed.
I have changed. My views on certain things have changed. I am attempting to become more Christlike. If this offends anyone or makes them uncomfortable then I'm doing my job. I'm not sorry about this. If you are not saved, then you are going to Hell. Its as simple as that. I say this out of love. There is no other way but through Christ. None. If this statement offends you or makes you uncomfortable then that is the Holy Spirit knocking at your door. My heart is heavy when I think about those I know who are not saved. I will not spend time with them Heaven, I will not see them again.
The only thing I can do for those people is pray. I know that God can change them, Hes the only one. So just know, whether or not you agree with me or not of whether or not you think I'm crazy, I am praying for you.
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