Sunday, September 1, 2013

Homeschooling: My Kids, My Choice



This is a touchy subject amongst my family and some close friends. Recently, after a much heated argument between Mike and I the decision was made to put the kids in public school. I of course was against it but I relented and agreed.

A little back story, about two years ago I began to have feelings of being led to homeschool the kids by God. For those of you who do not believe in God I'm sorry if you don't believe me or understand this but I cannot describe the way this feels. So, for the past two years I have been schooling the kids. Unbeknownst to me Mike wasn't in complete agreement. So we had it out one day, big time. I finally relented and agreed to put the boys in public school as long as I could stay home with Emma and at least do preschool with her.

So the decision had been made. With a week to go I gathered all the things I would need to enroll the kids in the local school. The process was awful. The enrollment was in the cafeteria, lots of people and lots of tables with steps to get it done. I wasn't sure what grade Jordan would be and when I mentioned he'd been homeschooled the looks ensued, they finally decided he should be in 5th grade, which we had already been doing. I got all the paper work done and headed home. About a week later it was time for the first day of school. The way the school is set up is ridiculous. I had to drop Jordan off in the front of the school at his building and then drive all the way around the very back to the lower elementary building to drop off Conor. The traffic was outrageous. I parked and got Conor and Emma out and started walking. The lower elementary kids all meet in the cafeteria at tables marked with their teachers names (thinking about it now, a picture of the teacher next to her name would have made more sense for those who don't read). I got Conor to his seat and it was a mad house and that's putting it nicely. I couldn't believe the number of people in this small cafeteria. No organization, and I couldn't find Conors teacher anywhere. I sat him down and had to really hold back tears as I said goodbye. Conor sitting at this table looking confused and scared. I even saw one little girl, gripping her mothers arm and crying hysterically. As I walked back to the car I was trying hard not to cry where Emma could see me. As soon as I got in the van I let the tears come. I cried almost all day. At the end of the day I was relieved and happy to get them home. The pick-up process was way worse than the drop off and I kept thinking about how much I was going to dread doing this for the next 10 months.

The second day the kids were in school wasn't much better for me. I kept having this sickness in the pit of my stomach and a feeling of "somethings not quite right" but I couldn't put my finger on it. I picked up the kids from school and came home. Within minutes of arriving home my phone rang, it was Mike. He says "hows your day going?" I say "ok", he says "how was Conors day at school", I said "I don't know you ask him.". So Conor gets on the phone and talks for a moment and then I got back on and the first thing Mike says is " if you still feel strongly about homeschooling the kids, I will support you." I could have fallen out of my seat. I said "WHAT?!" He says " Ive been thinking about it and I thought the school was more of a small town school so Ill support you homeschooling but I have some conditions." I said "Ok lets talk about it when you get home." And we did. For the record, Conor is excited about school at home. As he put it "I get to be with Jordan and Emma."

I have been praying for Michael for over a year to understand why I want and feel the need and the conviction to homeschool our kids. I have many, many reasons. I am not going to go into these reasons as the last time I did I seem to have offended some people.

What it boils down to is this- MY KIDS, MY CHOICE! I shouldn't have to justify my beliefs or my decisions to anyone else. I don't ask others why they put their kids in private school or Catholic school, etc. I know most of you are worried about socialization and them making friends. Let me ease your fears. I read this in a recent article and couldn't have put it better: "Instead of being locked behind school gates in what some would consider an artificial setting characterized by bells, forced silence and age-segregation, homeschoolers frequently extend their everyday classroom to fire departments, hospitals, museums, repair shops, city halls, national parks, churches and colleges, where real community interaction and contacts are made."

My kids are around people of all ages. We get out on a regular basis and see things they may never see being in school for 30 hours a week. There are two homeschool co-op groups in Owasso and I have several people here in Oologah who homeschool and I am in the process of setting up meetings. My kids will grow and excel in this environment.

A friend of mine was recently grilled by a local teacher about her day, curriulum choice and hours spent schooling. Not only is this not okay for her to have done,  it is very rude. She basically told my friend that "we homeschoolers" should not have as much freedom as we do with our own kids! I was shocked! What?!  They are my kids, no one else's, I should be able to make any decisions about my kids that I want. Religious, educational and medical. Luckily in Oklahoma, homeschooling is protected by the state constitution.

So yes, once again I am about to embark on a homeschool journey. I would hope that my family (least of all) and friends would support me, even if you don't agree.Lets face it, you've all done and continue to do things I do not support, yet I never say a thing.

Thank you to those who do support me and even those who homeschool along with us. And thank you God for allowing me and my family to continue.