Try, Try Again

So we've decided once again to homeschool the kids. Mainly Jordan but Conor will be staring some preschool lessons this year as well. Im really looking forward to starting this year. I have started ordering the books and I am very excited to start lesson planning. I even found a homeschool fitness program we can all do together. We have joined a homeschool group that we go to once a week to visit with other kids and moms. They even have activities every day if I wanted to go but odds are we'll only go once a week. I believe I am being called to do this and I am very much looking forward to getting started. I found this blog recently through an online homeschool group I belong to and Im looking forward to reading it.

http://live-with-laughter.blogspot.com/2011/06/giveaway-time-five-in-row.html


Anyway, look for continued updates on our journey through homeschooling.

To Keep or Not to Keep, That is the Question.....

Today I spent most of the day helping my Mom go through stuff to make room in her dining room. For the next few Saturdays I will be helping her cull out stuff. The next room we'll be tacking is her sewing room. No offense to my Mom but she has a lot of stuff. Her Mother had a lot of stuff so that's all she knew. I'm trying to help her sort through the stuff, reorganize and possibly get rid of. I don't mind helping it gives me a project outside of my house and I get to look at memories. Most of the stuff we went through today was stuff that belonged to my Grandmother. Fabric, sewing notions, and quilting stuff. I miss her so much.

As I was helping I was thinking about all the stuff that I have in my own house. I have a lot of stuff in storage that I have been wanting to go through. Ive been trying to thin it out. Its slow but I am succeeding. Soon I will be bringing what I have here to store in our shed. Its things that I want to display when we have our own home, whenever that will be. I have cleaned out most of the stuff inside our house. I recently went through our closet and our laundry room and got rid of a bunch of stuff. Sometimes I watch Hoarders and I think to myself " How could anyone let their home get that bad." If Mike wasn't such a minimalist our house probably have a lot more stuff so I keep it less cluttered for him.

I long for the day when we have our own home so that I can truly have a space to display all my knick knacks. Ideally I would like to have a small building outside with air conditioning and heating so that I could put all my little curios in it and just sit out there and enjoy them. That way I get to keep my "junk" and Mike gets a clutter free house. Someday. In the mean time Im going to keep thinning out.

Friends and Other Thoughts

Today I went to visit with a new friend. I met her Facebook through a group we were both in. I don't have many close friends. It seems like once people really get to know me they stay away. Ive had lots of friends over the years but only a select few have really stuck by me. This new person and I seem to have a lot in common. Its always nice to be able to visit with a like minded person. Our kids are roughly similar in age. Her kids are just as crazy as mine. We feel the same way about how many kids we should have and don't care what other people think about it. We are both into eating healthy(ier), losing weight and doing things to protect the earth. Although we both homeschool we're not ultra conservative about too many things. When I first went to meet with her I was afraid of how she would react to all my tattoos, that is until she mentioned her husband has quite a few himself.

I love to make new friends. Sometimes I feel isolated by certain people. Because I am more liberal than most people I know I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing or what they will think about my tattoos, the way I raise my kids or issues I'm passionate about. For the most part I don't care about what people think about my tattoos. They are a story of my life. A visual journey so to speak. I intend to get a few more, ones to commemorate some recent events in my life. I don't like to offend people. I try hard not to get into arguments especially with people who truly believe what they are saying. As my husband says "you cant argue with a true believer". He is right. I am starting to run across more and more people who truly believe you should have as many kids as possible. I do not agree with this. I believe although God wants you to be prosperous, He also expects you to be responsible and self-reliant. Sometimes having more kids than you can truly care for goes against this. I know we should rely on God but He's not going to come down and pay our bills for us or fix our cars.

I am new to homeschooling. I recently joined a local homeschool group. At first I thought "what are they going to think when they see me?" I quickly learned that they didn't care they were just glad to meet me and my kids. Yes having liberal views, especially here in Oklahoma definitely makes me in the minority. I have found that here people tend to judge a book by its cover. I am a nice person, educated, although not overly smart. I am not the typical stay at home, homeschooling Mom. I don't want to be. I like being a little different and not looking like a cookie cutter mom. Its nice to have found someone who homeschools her kids who is kind of like me. Its refreshing actually. Sometimes I wonder why God puts certain people in our lives. Especially ones who annoy us. Be it a co-worked, family member or friend. I guess in the end they all serve a purpose.

Don't misunderstand me here. I am not judging those who don't believe the same things I do. I don't care if you agree with me or not. For the most part I don't even care what you think about my tattoos or the 12 earrings I wear. I don't care if you think my kids watch too much t.v or play too many games. I don't care if you think I'm wrong for choosing to have my tubes tied. I think in the grand scheme of things with all that's going on my having my tubes tied in pretty low on Gods list of concerns. I don't care if you think its wrong that we don't eat at the dinner table every night or that we sometimes eat with the t.v. on. I don't care if you think my husband spends too much time playing in games or working out. Its healthy for him to have "guy time" just like its healthy for me to have "girl time". Mike has a game every other Saturday and I use that time to hang out at home or go do something Ive been wanting to do that hes not into. Working out to us is important and we spend time as a family doing fitness related stuff as well. The truth is Mike and I love each other very much and do enjoy each others company. But we're also both independent and enjoy being able to be apart. I hate having to rely on anyone else for anything. I love being able to go wherever I want to do whatever I want. Having a friend who has the same option is nice.

I guess I got a little off track here, but I just wrote what I'm feeling right now. I have a lot going on right now. A lot of things I'm thinking about and dealing with. I'm starting a new chapter this year with homeschooling again and I'm really looking forward to it. Ive picked out what sounds like some really fun curriculum this year and I'm looking forward to getting started.

Down but Not Out

I awoke this morning tired as usual but determined to get going. I have been trying my darnedest to walk every morning and sometimes it seems like mother nature is against me. On Monday we had winds at 25 MPH so I was only able to walk a mile. Had I been by myself and not been pushing about 50 lbs I would have kept going. On Tuesday the weather was so nice I decided we should hit the zoo instead. So we loaded up and off we went. It went well and although I wasn't walking to work out I still got a decent walk in. Today I get up only to discover Aunt Flo has come to visit so Ill have a few days where all I want to do is sit. But I decided it wasn't going to hold me back from getting the kids out. I have a calender where I have almost every day filled with some sort of activity. We don't always do what's on the calender sometimes we just stay home.

Todays activity was the dollar movie. They were showing Megamind which we'd already seen but I though it would be nice to see it again, after all its pretty cute. It started at 10 a.m. so we got there around 9:40. Im glad we did the place was packed. There were probably about 75 people jumbled outside and as we got out of the car I saw a daycare van pull up. So we got our tickets after much debate on whether or not to go in or not and the line at the concessions was already filling up. I took the kids to the theater and got seats then went back to concessions to get drinks. The line was pretty long and as I got closer I could see why. There was a woman at the counter who had ordered a lot of kids meals and she had probably 25 or so envelopes with money. I could hear her arguing with the cashier about some coupon she had. It took 10 minutes for this to end and I don't know how long shed been standing there before I arrived on the scene. Meanwhile another woman "cut" me and the woman in front of us and went to the other register and ordered about 15 kids meals. All in all it took me 15 minutes to get 3 drinks. I made it back to the seats and almost immediately Emma got fussy. I had initially wanted to sit in the very back in case she got fussy so I could stand but Jordan wanted to sit closer so I conceded. I had to get up and take Emma out. After the first time I decided forget it lets just go. I told Jordan from now on we either sit in the very back or we don't go. Anyway so we decided to go to Vintage Stock instead and I hit a thrift store before coming home.

Although I love being able to get out of the house whenever I want never having to wait on someone to take me sometimes people make my little trips difficult. I think the movie thing should have been better equipped to deal with someone who doesn't seem to care that she's holding up everyone else to save a few pennies. All in all it was a pretty good day. Im looking forward to more adventures as the summer progresses.

The Men in my life....

I have two men to recognize on this Father Day 2011. One being my Dad of course and the other my husband of almost 5 years. I love them both but for very different reasons. They haven't always been a constant in my life but I am blessed to have them both active in it now.

My Dad and I have never been close. He was in the Navy for most of my childhood. He missed out on a lot, sleepovers, graduation, prom, dating. But when he was home it was nice to have the change. I never resented him for having the job he had. I was always proud to say that my Dad was in the military. I knew what he was doing was important. When he retired I thought maybe we'd grow closer but by the time he retired I was a grown woman. I had a job and was ready to be out on my own. I got married and started having kids. Then he and my mom divorced and for the past few years even though he lives across town we really haven't spoken. I wont go into the gory details this is not the time for that. I will just say that I didn't like how things were handled. In the last year or so my Dad has been calling more and coming around more and I like it. I like to visit and I know how much he enjoys seeing the grand kids. Maybe we will continue to build our relationship. I love my Dad and I'm glad hes close by.

My husband is Michael Ryan. I have loved him for a LONG time now. Almost since the day I saw him. He also has not been a constant but in the last 5 years I have seen a great transformation. When we started dating in 1994 we were kids. We dated off and on for years. Hes always been very independent. When I wanted to get married he didn't so we went our separate ways. It took almost 7 years for us to reunite. In that time I got married and had a son. When we rejoined in late 2005 I wasn't sure how he would feel about an "instant" family. But he told me that he had talked to his Grandma Nan about it and felt sure that he was up for the challenge. That he could love a child that wasn't his. It took another 7 months for us to finally get back together. His proposal was so simple. I went over to his apartment after we'd been broken up for about 3 months and he said " all I want to do is get married." I, of course said yes. After 10 years I was finally going to get to be with him. We were married in September of 2006. By February I was pregnant with our first child. He was ecstatic. I watched him start to change things about himself. Ive been watching him change our lives for the better. I'm sure that there are still those out there who know him and still think hes this irresponsible, kid who cant get his stuff together. But they don't see him at home with me and the kids. Hes patient where I am not always. Hes loving with the kids. He teaches them things that I may not think of. Hes been working a steady job now for almost 4 years at a place I know is hard. He busts his butt everyday to provide for us. He comes home most nights exhausted. Hes also looking for ways to improve our lives. Something not many other men don't even consider because they claim it takes too much time. Yes its been difficult him being involved in school when he could be spending time with us but I know in the long run it will be worth it. He concerned about our health and fitness. He has visions for what our family could be. Of course he has faults. Hes no angel but I'm not going to talk about those here. This is a day for reflecting on the good things about the Dads in our lives. Michael may not be perfect none of us are. But hes my husband and I wouldn't have him any other way. The same can also be said about my own Dad. Hes not perfect either but hes what God gave me and I'm trying to maintain a relationship with him.

Lets take today to reflect on why we love the men in our lives. Whether it good or bad. To think about not what we can change about them but what we can embrace and learn from them.

Dad, Michael, I love you both very much and I thank God for both of you.