Lately Ive sort of been taking an inventory of my life thus far. Thinking to myself, am I satisfied?, are things going the way I want?, has my life gone in the direction I want it to? The answers I have come up with are yes and no.
Yes I am satisfied with some things. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children and one due later this month. I'm able to be home with them for the time being and I love every minute of it. My husband is a good, no great man. He takes care of me and loves me in spite of my temper and stubbornness. He takes care of me and the kids by working at a job he really doesn't care for. But hes in the process of going to school so that he can give himself the satisfaction of doing something with his life and give us the life he thinks we deserve. My kids are great. They are well behaved and smart. When it comes down to it I really have good kids. I haven't had a lot of problems with either of them thus far. Nothing serious anyway (although I realize this could change come teen years.)
My life hasn't gone exactly the way I planned though. I have been in love with Mike since the day I saw him. I always thought we would end up together. But there came a time when he wanted to go and "sew his wild oats" so to speak. We were separated for 6 years. I married someone else, mainly out of spite (which I wouldn't recommend) and spent 5 years miserable with someone who really didn't love me once I got fat. I realize now that my ex-husband really only loved me when I was thin and what he considered beautiful. Oh well, not much of a loss there. I never went to college although I have made two attempts at it. Each time I realized that I'm not interested in what college has to offer. There's lots out there I want to learn about but I find that I can just as easily read a book on that particular topic. Who knows maybe later in life I will pursue a career but for now I like to title of mom. There isn't much I can think of that I feel has gone undone, nothing unfinished.
Of course not all things are peachy keen. Michael and I aren't perfect. I'm not claiming we are. We have our moments. After all we are both first born children and thus are both headstrong. We tend to butt heads a lot. But we always make up and for the most part things are great. I love him more today than I did years ago. We don't have our own place right now and sometimes that causes issues in our life. That coupled with having two cars that are on the brink of taking a dive every other day makes stress levels high. We try hard not to take it out on each other but sometimes it just happens. We've decided to put buying a house on hold in order to get a new car. After all Mike has to get to work. We're thinking maybe rent to own or lease purchase come income tax season. It will all work out. This I know for sure.
Life is good for the most part. I shouldn't complain. I have more than some people out there. I may not have a place of my own, but at least we have a roof over our heads. We may not have new cars but at least we have a car. I'm looking forward to the birth of our third child, our family will feel complete. I thank God for all hes given us.
