Wood and Daisies

                              Michael and I before his prom in 1996

Wood and daisies are traditional gifts given for the 5th anniversary. Five years ago today at this time I was preparing to marry the love of my life. I met Michael Ryan Morrison in 1993. I met him at Carbondale Baptist Church and almost instantly I was in love with him. He has always had a hold on me. Ive always been amused and mesmerized by him. We dated off and on for years, starting in 1995 when we sat on the back porch of his uncles house on fourth of July and talked about getting married someday. It took 10 years for us to finally get together permanently. In those 10 years I married and had a baby and Michael used that time to grow up a bit.  

In early 2005 I left my first husband due to him finding another. For me it was a blessing and a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Within months I received an email from Michael asking me out.  I couldn't believe that after all that time he still wanted to be with me. By Christmas 2005 we were engaged. In early 2006 his grandmother passed away and he went through a lot. He was very close with her. He decided in April 2006 that we should take a three month break. I was done. At that moment I decided that I couldn't go through with it anymore, the back and forth. I had a kid now and couldn't put him through that. I told him I was done doing this. Then one day in June 2006 I checked my voicemail and I heard his voice. I melted. He was calling to tell me that he had wanted me back and would I meet him at his apartment. I called him back and met him later that day. I went into his apartment and said " I don't know what you think we have left to discuss." He said " I just want to marry you." I said "okay". And that was that. We were married in September 30th, 2006, my grandparents anniversary. They were married 70 years when my grandmother passed away. 

                           Michael and I on our wedding day. Showing off our tattoos. 

Our wedding was small but perfect. We wrote our own vows. His were great they made me cry. We had a small reception and then went to a hotel and watched tv and just hung out. When we got to the hotel he said "we should have done this 10 years ago." I said "yes but it was worth the wait."

The last 5 years have been amazing. We've added to the family twice. Our children are amazing. We've been through a lot of stuff in the last 5 years. Some good, some bad. But through it all we've had each other. We've weathered the storms and I believe we can make it through anything. I know that the next five years and beyond will be ones that will most likely have storms as well but nothing we cant handle together. He is a wonderful husband and father. 

                      Michael and I this past spring, a little older but still so in love.

We may not have a lot of money, time or things but we have each other. We have love and friendship. We have each other. Here's to a lifetime of love and laughter.

Emma Jane's First Year

This time last year I was at the hospital about to give birth to my beautiful daughter. I cant believe its been a year already. Time has flown by so fast. Here's her first year in pictures:

Michael and I decided to try for a little girl in early December 2009. I took my pregnancy test on January 4th. This is in March.

I was convinced that I was having another boy. I went in by myself for the ultrasound. I wanted Mike to go but he couldn't get off work. The ultrasound tech told me I had better up my registry. I was shocked to say the least and happy beyond measure. I took the photo up to Mike at work. He was so happy. Right up until her birth I couldn't believe it.

This picture was taking 13 days before I had her. I felt like a cow. The last few weeks were brutal but it was worth it.

Emma Jane Morrison born at OSU Medical Center at 9:18 a.m. Weighing in at 8lb 12oz and 21 inches long. Right after I had her I heard Mike say "It really is a girl."

Mike holding her for the first time. He is so in love with her. He is a wonderful father.

Conor and Jordan the day I brought her home. They too love her very much.

Emma at three months old. Shes been smiling almost since birth. Shes a very happy baby. I am so blessed.

Emma at four months old. I think I surprised her.

Emma at five months old. I love to dress her up and take pictures. I think she is beautiful.

Emma at seven months old.

Emma at 10 months old. Shes started pulling up and standing on her own.

Emma's 1st birthday cake.

We had a little get together yesterday for Emma's birthday while my grandma is in town. She loved the cake (who wouldn't?). She played with her cousins and seemed to have a really good time.

I am so happy to have had a little girl. They are so much fun. I love my boys too though. The last year has been great. Watching Emma grow and learn. Having her here really makes our family feel complete. Michael is so in love with her. She is loud just like her mom. I hope she'll be strong and independent like me as well. Life is good and I look forward to the next year with Miss Emma Jane.

Empowering My Daughter

I have seen some recent activity about the topic of feminism and what it means for Christian women. In the past few weeks I have had a discussion with an old pastor of mine regarding the notion of submission to my husband. I was asking him what exactly this means and what it is that I am supposed to be doing. After a nice long talk and an explanation that made sense I felt secure that I was indeed "doing my duty" so to speak. I told Michael long ago that I would not be a doormat or his puppet. He concurred and said that he likes that I am outspoken and independent and not to change a thing. 


 I was raised to be a strong, independent woman. A woman who didn't need to rely on any man to take care of her or do things for her. Maybe this comes from my dad being in the military and never home or maybe it was because my grandmother didn't want her girls to be walked all over. My grandmother was one of 14 children. If I remember correctly only one or two of the girls went onto high school. My grandmother only had an 8th grade education because her father said "there's no point in me sending the girls onto high school because all girls do is get married and have babies". This mentality makes me sick. This notion that girls are only here on earth to breed children and serve men. My great grandfather was a womanizer and an alcoholic. My grandmother went on to indeed get married and have 4 daughters. She also worked at a bank and a department store. The money she made was used to remodel the house and other things my grandfather thought were pointless. She was an amazing woman who always told me I could be anything I wanted and do anything I wanted regardless of me being a woman.


I have always thought myself to be a feminist. I looked up the definition of feminist: advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. 


I like the idea that I can empower my daughter to be anything she wants. Do anything she wants. That just because shes a woman doesn't mean she has to be less. Ill be supportive of whatever she wants to do or be. If she chooses to be a stay at home mom Ill support her. If she chooses to never have children and focus on something shes passionate about Ill support her. But under no circumstances do I want her to ever believe that she is only here to have kids and serve a man (other than God).


I don't want to be misunderstood here, I love my husband. I love God and try to follow his teachings accordingly. But no where in the bible does it say that I have to be his puppet. That I cant have a mind of my own. I do things for Michael BECAUSE I love him. Because I WANT to. Never have I felt like I was somehow his servant or the children's maid. Michael allows me to be me. He is amazing. He is balance for me. He keeps me grounded. He keeps me sane. He knows how to calm me like no other and in the same hand he can enrage me like no other. We have a healthy relationship. One I hope and pray that my daughter will find someday too. 


Do I want my daughter to get married? Yes. I think all mothers dream of their daughters picking out wedding dresses and walking down the isle. Do I want Emma to have kids? Of course. I think all mothers dream of grandchildren. I want Emma to be and do what she wants. Just like I want that for my boys. I want her to be her. I love her so much. I love watching her grow and learn and I look forward to the years ahead.


Thank you Lord for my daughter. She is a precious gift. Lead me to raise her as you see fit. Amen.

Playing Favorites?

 I was having a discussion recently with my husband about the kids. What kind of personalities they have, what kind of examples we're setting and so on. My oldest is not my husbands biological son yet he treats him as if he is. I started thinking about how we treat the kids. Mainly how I treat the kids because I am with them all day. I wondered to myself do I have a favorite? As I sat and though about it other questions came about. Do I treat them equally? Do I like one more than the others? After much thinking I came to the conclusion that I do not. I do not have a favorite. I love them all the same. I like to be around all of them the same. Yes at times one may get on my nerves a little more than the others but this is nothing that lasts long. Its more about what kind of mood I'm in not that my kids annoy me.


I have two boys and one girl. Emma is a baby right now and I love to hold her, watch her and dote on her. I have told the boys many times that I did the same things when they were babies. I try my best to spend time equally with all of them although right now Emma demands more of my time. I know a few families where there is obviously a favorite. One child that always gets his/her way. The other kids have to go along or risk getting into trouble. I HATE this. Yes I used a strong word because I like things to be fair. I realize that life isn't fair and my children will learn this along the way but in our house we try to make things as fair as possible.


I do realize that each child is different and that you have to parent accordingly. But I'm not going to let one child always have his way and expect the other ones to stand by and never get theirs. I read an article recently on this topic, here what it said:

"Unfortunately, the consequences of parental favoritism are what you might expect - they're mostly bad. Disfavored children experience worse outcomes across the board: more depression, greater aggressiveness, lower self-esteem, and poorer academic performance. These repercussions are far more extreme than any benefits the favored children get out of it (negative things just have a stronger impact on people than positive things). And it's not all rosy for the favored children either - their siblings often come to resent them, poisoning those relationships.

Many of these consequences persist long after children have grown up and moved out of the house. People don't soon forget that they were disfavored by their parents, and many people report that being disfavored as a child continues to affect their self-esteem and their relationships in adulthood.

To make matters worse, parents are even more likely to play favorites once their children are grown up, sustaining the toxic family dynamics (e.g., bad feelings, sibling resentment). The causes of the favoritism, however, are a bit different once the children become adults. Parents still favor daughters and less deviant children, but they also give preference to children who live closer, share the parents' values, and, not surprisingly, have provided the parents with emotional or financial support. Nearly all parents worry about whether they play favorites. But even when parents vow to treat their children equally, they soon find that this is just not possible. Every child is different and parents must respond to their unique characteristics appropriately. You shouldn't react to a 3-year-old's tantrums in the same way as you would to a 13-year-old's. You can't deal with aggressive children in the same way as passive children. Even identical twins can't be treated identically. When it comes down to it, every child wants to feel like they're different, not clones of their siblings. The best parents can do is stay aware of any differential treatment they give and try to be as fair as possible."

I happen to know personally of some parents with adult children who obviously favor one child over another. This is shown with time spent with that adult child and money given to that adult child because they for whatever reason cannot seem to support themselves. I don't claim to be perfect. I just hate favoritism. I know that I have faults when it comes to be a parent. I try everyday to give my kids what they need. Love, discipline, and time. I am trying to raise good kids. Kids that will grow up to be hardworking and loving people. There are lots of things I want for my kids and I pray that I will be able to provide them with what they need.

32 years

Today was my 32nd birthday. I have to say that I don't feel thirty-two. I'm at an age in my life where I'm looking and questioning a lot of things. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was just out of high school with my whole life ahead of me. Not that I'm that old its just something I was thinking about. Ive been out of school 14 years now. A lot has happened in that time. Ive been married twice, had three kids, held several jobs and moved about 14 times. Things have been good and bad since I got out of school. My marriage to my first husband was a nightmare. We were married for 6 years but I left after 5. Shortly after we divorced I started re-dating my husband. We'll be married 5 years at the end of this month. He has been wonderful to me. Don't get me wrong we've had our fair share of problems but we seem to stronger than ever. All I asked for my birthday was for him to get me a card. Here's what it said:

The Cover: For You, My Love on Your Birthday
The Inside: I hope there is never a need for you to wonder how strong and deep my feelings are for you. We may have changed a little, grown a lot, but whats been constant is how much I need you in my life....
If my words sometimes fail me, always remember whats in my heart- you stir my soul.....and always will.
Then he wrote: I love you very much. I constantly look forward to our life together: growing old, watching our children grow and looking forward to grandchildren. -Michael

He always knows just what to say. A card is usually the only thing I ask for when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines day or Mothers day. I just want to be acknowledged. I too look forward to the coming years. I look forward to the next 32 years with him. I look forward to seeing our children grow and go out on their own. I calculated the other day and discovered that by the time I'm 50 all my kids will be 18. Michael and I will be on our way to having time to just be a couple. That more than anything else is something I am looking forward to.

A lot can happen in the next 32 years. I thank God for the past 32 years and I pray that I will be healthy and able to enjoy the next 32 years.