The ending of one chapter, the beginning of another......

I am 30 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I have a little over 2 months until I will begin a new chapter in my life. I am about to have a little girl. I already have two boys so this is going to be so different. But I am also looking forward to the changes. Last December Mike and I decided that we should try to have another baby, our last. We discussed the possibility that we could end up with another boy but decided in the end to give it one more shot at having a girl. I got pregnant pretty quickly after we made the decision.

I went to the doctor for my first ultrasound with my mind set on it being a boy so imagine my surprise when she told me its a girl. I was shocked, happy, nervous and skeptical all at the same time. At that moment right there I made the decision that after having this child I would for sure be having my tubes tied. I took Mike the ultrasound photos right after I left the doctor. He couldn't believe it. Later that evening when he got home we sat down to discuss whether or not we wanted to leave open the possibility to have any more. After a little bit of talking we decided together that we didn't want to leave it open.

This is a big deal I know. Its the closing of a big part of my life. As I sit here typing the baby is moving around like shes doing gymnastics in there and I think to myself I will never have this feeling again. As much as I don't like being pregnant the movement of the baby is most amazing. I also think to myself that it will be nice to not have to worry about getting pregnant. There are down sides I know but for Michael and I this is the best choice for our family. I have a few reasons for not wanting anymore children. I want to finally lose all the weight without the thought that 'whats the point if I'm just going to get fat again having another child?' We want to get to the point where our kids are grown and we can start to "grow old" together, do things as a couple. I want to focus on the ones I have. Plus I think this is probably all we can afford in the long run.

I am enjoying the last few weeks I have before she arrives, napping when I can, getting the house ready, just relaxing with Mike and the kids before we have a baby in the house. I am also enjoying the feeling of being pregnant. This decision also begins a chapter in my life, one that will be exciting and frightening all at the same time. Our family will feel complete. Mike, me, Jordan, Conor and Emma. I look forward to all the things that we will do and experience as a family and I hope you all will join us on the journey.